As I struggled trying to figure out what to write about first since before my wedding, God put two key themes on my heart. The first one to discuss is accepting God’s “no.”
Before the last time I wrote, I was supposed to go to Uganda with Ashley and our team. Months of preparation leading up to the moment we finally get to be in person with our people in Lira. After driving four hours to the Atlanta airport, we begin to check and one of the airline workers calls out my name. She looks at me and says “She can’t fly.” I think this is a cruel joke until we find out my visa has an error and I wouldn’t be allowed in the country. I praise God we found it before I got on the plane for 25 hours, but it still hurt nonetheless. I spent over an hour calling people with connections to Uganda, trying to get a hold of someone in the embassy, and with no prevail- I quickly realized I wasn’t going. My heart was broken. I thought, “Why wouldn’t God want me to be there with everyone?” Before the devil could let thoughts of not being good enough creep into my brain, I claimed that he was not winning over my mind. To be fair it was obvious that “I'm not good enough,” because none of this was by my merit anyways- but God’s. By the grace of God, my college roommate's parents lived 30 minutes away from the ATL airport and came to get me. Even amidst confusion and chaos, God didn’t leave me stranded. He was not surprised by this.
I still can’t tell you why God closed the door for me to go. What I can tell you though is that He doesn’t do anything without a purpose. Knowing God’s character allowed me to go through this disappointment without blaming God- instead accepting His no was the better answer. Proverbs 16:9 states, “ A person’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.” When we live life knowing God has our best interest at heart, we can live freely that “no” is the best answer we could receive sometimes. A famous verse the majority of us know is Romans 8:28, but I want to focus on the part that is often not quoted. It states, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” “According to His purpose.” We can have all of the right motives, but ultimately God knows more than we do (& praise Him for that.) He works for our good and His glory. To put it simply, it probably had nothing to do with me of why I couldn’t go, but something that God could see far out that did not align with His purpose if I went on the trip. His plan has not failed and never will. God is our protector- not one that wants to take away to hurt us. He loves His children. He loves me and He loves you.
I pray whatever “no” you are facing right now brings you into closer trust with God. I think we can all relate that not everything God does makes complete sense to us. How great is it that we serve a God bigger than our brains though?!
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